


Tseng's List of 10 Reasons Why Reno's Still Got a Job

by Kitsu



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Lists, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-27
Updated: 2010-06-27
Packaged: 2018-05-15 13:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5787328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsu/pseuds/Kitsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tseng's ten reasons why he hasn't fired Reno yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tseng's List of 10 Reasons Why Reno's Still Got a Job

**01 - Reno makes delicious coffee.**   
  
At least, that's apparently what he wants Tseng to believe. However, every time Tseng asks Reno to brew him a cup, he uses an awful long time in doing so. When confronted with this, Reno – leering mischievously – simply claims that 'only the best is good enough for his precious boss' and that preparing the perfect cup of the black brew for him will always take a bit more time.   
  
Tseng isn't satisfied by that explanation, thinking there is more to it than Reno will admit to – because, in addition to the timing issue, there's that almost imperceivable twitch adjacent to Reno's left eye that only occurs whenever they walk by a high-end coffee shop just down the street from their office. Tseng has his clear suspicions, but for now he'll just let it pass – if Reno feels like using his hard earned cash to _buy_ him a cup of coffee every now and again, he sure isn't going to be one to complain. The coffee is, after all, delicious. (But not nearly as delicious as Reno's bright smile whenever Tseng takes a sip from the cup Reno brings him and earnestly thanks him for his effort.)  
  
 **02 – Reno's efficient with paperwork.**  
  
He always manages to get his paperwork done, approved and filed away before the designated due time, though at times he may be a bit _too_ efficient – the problem being that every so often his reports are never to be seen again after they have gotten the stamp of approval from Tseng. The only clues as to what has become of them is the constantly open window in Reno's office, a slight, ever-present smell of something burnt, traces of ash in Reno's paper-bin and a smoke detector that's been without a functioning battery for years. Tseng doesn't inquire too insistently about the whereabouts of the missing reports though, as their absence keeps the higher-ups from prodding into failed missions of the past whenever they're renegotiating the Shinra Department of Administrative Research's annual budget. Reno's predisposition to laziness is sometimes indeed a blessing.  
  
 **03 – He's the best helicopter pilot the Turks have.**   
  
Not to mention, the only one for the time being. Though, he is also in possession of quite an impressive record – most helicopters destroyed by one single person in the history of chopper-flying. It's not that he doesn't know how to fly the helicopters, it's just the that he isn't very good at keeping them in the air. Or landing them, for that matter. Sure, there are a few mitigating circumstances - for example, _anyone_ would have problems staying focused on piloting a helicopter when someone else is trying to run a motorbike _through_ said helicopter. In that particular case, Tseng even commended Reno on getting both himself and Rude out alive. And well, firing their only pilot would be unwise, no matter how bad his record is – there really isn't enough capable people left on Gaia – especially capable people that still trust ShinRa – for them to be picky about their employees. Thus, for a long as Reno at least manages to land his chopper safely whenever either Tseng or Rufus Shinra are his passengers, he'll keep his job. For the sake of the company – and screw the equipment budget seven times over.  
  
 **04 - He follows orders - mostly.**   
  
Ah yes, there have been times when he's refused orders – some of them for which Tseng really can't blame him. Back in the days, under the old rule, quite a few of their orders had been more than a bit unreasonable, even in his opinion. Tseng himself would never defy an order, but secretly, he admired Reno for being capable of doing so – and for the fact that even though the rest of the Turks had though Tseng dead, Reno had managed to take control over them as group and use his own better judgement even when it went against orders from above. It showed _initiative_ \- isn't that supposed to be a sought after trait in any employee? It still feels like a bad thing in Reno's case though.   
  
These days, Reno seems 'rehabilitated' in that matter. He usually does whatever Rufus or Tseng ask of him, seemingly loyal to a fault. (Tseng have a feeling he knows why Reno changed, and it makes him feel oddly appreciative of his subordinate.)   
  
**05 - Rude wouldn't accept another partner.**  
  
It's a fact. Even though he grumbles about it every time Reno steps on his glasses, smacks him in the face with the magrod or puts cactuars in Rude's slacks after he's taken a shower at the HQ. There's just something about having been through as much as they have together – they have developed some sort of soldier's bond of camaraderie, which means Rude will probably quit the day Reno gets fired. In addition, Rude keeps blowing Reno up along with himself and any infrastructure close by whenever he uses explosives, which means that if they ever manage to get him to work with another partner, they will most likely have to replace him or her every other week. Better to keep Reno, as nobody else can take as much of a beating as him and still walk away laughing. (Tseng also admits that the sight of a beaten and bloody Reno laughing his heart out stirs up _something_ in him that he's not sure he wants to know about, no matter how interesting it might be.)  
  
 **06 - Somehow Rufus Shinra has taken a liking to Reno.**  
  
And one most certainly does not upset Rufus Shinra by robbing him of his favourite toy. Tseng is pretty sure Rufus will turn scary - no, even scarier - if he ever tries firing Reno without a damned good reason – all of the above not being valid – major impact on Shinra's budget be damned. Tseng ponders how far off he is thinking that something like twenty-five percent of their budget has to marked off exclusively as 'in case of Reno'. Reno is an expensive pet indeed, but Rufus has expensive tastes, and he can afford them. In addition, Rufus usually isn't that easily amused and Tseng has come to learn that blaming a botched mission on Reno will have Rufus overlook it more easily – and any load off Tseng's shoulders when it comes to Reno's blunders is a good thing. (At least – thank Gaia – Rufus hasn't taken _that_ kind of interest in Reno. As it stands it seems to be pure amusement with all the mischief Reno manages conjure together. Tseng fully believes he wouldn't be able to live it down if those two got together, as they would make a dangerous pair – and deep down Tseng would rather not have Reno find a lover. Except himself.)  
  
 **07 - He's got a clever tongue.**  
  
Reno's an expert at talking his way out of trouble. Which saves Tseng a lot of trouble - and work. Whenever Rude messes up a mission, he goes all tongue tied, stuttering out some random excuse, leaving it up to Tseng to explain to Rufus Shira why _this_ building is still standing or why _that_ bridge is in ruins when it shouldn't be. Reno on the other hand, always knows exactly _why_ everything is in its current state – and since it's already been established that Rufus listens to Reno, Tseng is more than happy to let Reno do the talking whenever necessary. (Tseng can also vividly imagine another far more interesting, and far more inappropriate use for Reno's tongue, the mental imagery almost driving him insane.)  
  
 **08 - Reno looks good in uniform.**  
  
Sure, he's never been able to wear the standard Turks uniform properly. As a matter of fact it's become somewhat of a identifying trait of his – shirt untucked, jacket crumpled, no tie. (From time to time Tseng came to find himself regretting this – there was so much fun to be had with a tie, but his own silk ones didn't tie well.) Though constantly dishevelled, Reno still looks exceptionally well in his uniform, Even Rude with his strong frame and Elena with her curves doesn't come close to look as good in it. (Tseng thinks Reno looks positively handsome, and Tseng appreciates handsome things.)  
  
 **09 – Reno looks good naked.**  
  
Tseng has to admit that he can't deny it, however inappropriate it is. Reno is one attractive man – and keeping something nice around to look at does brighten his days. He especially looks forward to 'accidental' walking in on Reno in the changing rooms after particularly intense missions – hopefully right as Reno is stripping down to have a shower. There is just something about him when he's sweaty, worn out and even more dishevelled than usual – it certainly fuels Tseng's imagination. (Where he more than happily imagines himself being the reason for Reno's state of disarray.)  
  
 **10 - Life without Reno around would be plain boring.**  
  
Reno is a constant source of amusement for Tseng – cactuars, coffee, and botched missions all included. Tseng fears that without Reno around everyday life at the office will become excruciatingly boring. Having to deal with Rude's silent act and Elena's lectures on everything without Reno's sarcastic running commentary whispered in his ear would surely drive him insane. (As it stands, Reno's warm breath against his ear might quite possibly drive him mad well before that, but for completely other reasons. Which, after looking over his list again, he decides is the absolute main reason why he lets him stay around. Reason 10b: _He wants to fuck Reno_.)


End file.
